Wednesday, September 16, 2009

haven't picked up camera in a while+photoshop+me home alone =

Thought I would try a few things out on myself before I revisited some long overdue projects. I really missed having my camera in hand. Had it with me all weekend. I also forgot how much I love photoshop. Trying to do something everyday to satiate these cravings to create. Only a little bit of time and energy left after a day of teaching; however, that old club spiritual told me long ago that "you gotta use what you got to get what you want...ooooooh ooh betta think!"

OK...time to get busy.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

And then it comes to me like an epiphany - It's Over

I used to love Verizon. Oh I loved them. ATT was my childhood sweetheart but, Verizon was my fist love. I switched to Verizon when it became my money for the honey. My family was an ATT family. This was before family pay plans. Before 900 minutes for $900.00...

It used to be so sweet...

Verizon was good to me! They loved me up! I rarely had to call customer service but, when I did they made me feel like somebody was on the way to fix my phone right then and there! I never went a day complaining about dropped calls or dead phones. They were so on point. Before you knew it my ATT family was all Verizon. And we loved Verizon! Even though Verizon went from my boyfriend to son-in-law in a matter of months, Verizon has been my longest relationship - almost 10 is just that man with deflating potential that I am footing the bill for until he does something with his life - and he hasn't for years.
"Second night in a row
You didn't come home
I'm watching my phone

Waiting for it to ring, ring, ring
Sitting in the house on the couch with the TV on (on)
All night all alone (alone)

Every time same old thing, thing, thing "

Verizon doesn't even come home anymore. Doesn't call me on the job just to say hello. Won't let anybody else call me at home or on the job either. I can't get service anywhere! I used to get it on the train, on a plane, on a box and in my socks. I used to brag about my green eggs and ham service and now... it's been over a year since I have had good service...

So you walk in
(you walk in)

The next morning

(the next morning)

To find me smiling,

Like nothing ever happened

I've tried to work it out. I call, I tell them about the dropped calls, I complain about the equipment, I fuss about how his "STORM" gets me started and then freezes mid conversation. Then...I tell them I'm gonna find me somebody new. I beg them to please...don't make me leave- I don't want to get to know somebody new all over again. I want to stay right here - just be good to me. Stop abusing me every month! I thought maybe he's cheating on me. Checked him out on and he wasn't there but then I did a google search and it doesn't look like he is being good to any one...

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,220,000 for I hate verizon. (0.24 seconds)
Sounds like I am not the only getting lame excuses.
I pointed that out to them and...

You give me some excuse
(some excuse)
Like you always do
(like you always do)
I just kiss your cheek
And this is what I tell you, you, you

I guess Verizon thinks that I won't leave him since he has my family wrapped around his finger. Verizon better recognize. I must admit it is hard to leave but, I can't take these excuses and threats. Talking about $200 if you leave me. It doesn't feel like a relationship feels bad, very bad. This feels like an abusive relationship. I transfer my money every month and my pockets feel raped. I feel like I am being abused...truly abused. I don't know why I treat Verizon like it my only option. Verizon is not the only show in town and I am tired of paying so much for so very little. I have to let go. Now they want to offer me a new phone and promise me better service after I download my updates....

How many times did I fall for your lies
How many times did I sit home and cry
Never questioning why? why? why? why?
It just came to me
Like an epiphany
How about I just leave-e-e-e

So, I've been stepping out. Stopped over this new man's house named Cricket...he's a young buck. New to the game, limited range, and equipment is pricey; however, he is low maintenance, his top phones are on sale, said I could try him out no contract is my last man made me scared of committment, and word on the street is that he would be really good to me. And...don't tell Verizon, but my childhood sweetheart has been calling...ATT wants me back. It would be kind of nostalgic and he has grown up quite lovely looking all I-phoneish and 3G and stuff.

Well, hear is my Dear John Verizon...

"So I think I'm just about over being your girlfriend (girlfriend)
I'm leaving (leaving), I'm leaving
No more wonderin what you've been doin
Where you been sleeping
(it's over)
I'm leaving
(it’s over)
I'm leaving
(yea e yeah)
(repeat) "

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Returning to the source...the divine spiral.

Everything in nature is formed
by revealing itself while returning to its source.

The parts are defined by the whole.

The whole is understood/revealed through its parts.

The energy that pulls us to reveal the self
is resisted
by that energy that pulls us
to return to the our source.

The source wants to reveal itself to the whole.

The whole wants to return to the source.

When we strike a balance between these energies in life

We are living in harmony...and therefore divine.

© 2009 MelaniN.
* * *

As I look at my life today, I respect and honor the need for me to live a fully creative life. I no longer resent people or events that seem to hinder my chance to truly experience my passions and my creative desires. I am grateful to everyone and every thing good or bad that got me to this moment of recognition and revelation.

I let go of my obstacles. I release them.
I embrace this journey and claim full responsibility for each step.

I embrace those hands of support that have pushed, pulled, and carried me along the way.
Today, I make your job easier.
I surrender to my divine path.

I hope you will continue to be a witness to this never ending divine spiral I know as life.
I commit to reveal myself while returning to the source.